Another Birthday Behind Bars...

I have my little brother on my mind today. It's his 28th birthday, and he's spending yet another birthday behind bars. If my math is right, it's the 5th one in the last 7 years. It's sad, heartbreaking for my family...I can't imagine how it feels for him right now.

We don't talk much about my little brother these days. One the one hand, it's almost embarrassing that something so awful could happen to him. On the other, it's painful to remember. Things just seem better left in the past; he put everyone through so much that it seems pointless to re-hash it all. What's done is done. Sometimes, I will ashamedly admit, days go by and I don't think of him at all. And then suddenly, especially lately when I am playing with my kids, I get hit by a certain long-forgotten memory, a tiny piece of the old Matthew that I stored away somewhere, and I miss him. We never had a great relationship, that much is true. But I still love him, even now, even after everything.

It hurts my heart to know that my children will not grow up knowing who their Uncle Matt is. They did meet him, once, over Thanksgiving back in 2009, when he was clean and out of prison and on a track that we all hoped would stay that way. But it didn't. Somewhere along the line he lost his balance, didn't ask for help, fell off the wire, went back to heroin, robbed several stores, landed back in prison. I haven't spoken to him in 2 years. I'm not sure when I will.

Like I said, we don't mention Matthew much these days. But sometimes, NOT talking about him feels wrong. I think his story is heartbreaking, but it's happening everywhere, all over this country. There is NO such thing as recreational drug use, especially when it comes to hard drugs. I've never met a single person who could "take it or leave it" when it comes to heroin. From my understanding, once you start on a drug like that, it changes you, makes you willing to do almost anything for more. Steal from your family? Yes. Lie to your family? Yes. Even rob a store at gunpoint, just for a few hundred dollars to get your next high. It's scary what drugs can do, but at the same time I think my family is grateful that it wasn't worse. He isn't dead, he didn't overdose. He didn't kill anyone. He has some pretty serious psychiatric problems and health issues, and in prison he is actually getting the help he needs to get better. Eventually. Maybe. I don't know. I'm hopeful.

Matthew can't read this, but his story is important. I know it will be one that I will eventually tell to my children, over and over, to show them what drugs can do to even the smartest and brightest of people. When the sky is your limit, and you choose to do hard drugs, there's just no telling how far you can fall.

Happy Birthday, Matthew. I love you. I forgive you. I hope you are getting better.

~Barbara

DIY: Crossword Family Name Art

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I have to start this post by saying...sorry. Yeah, I've been completely MIA from the blog lately. And I hate it--I want to be on here, posting frequently about our life, because I love to go back and re-read all of my posts from when the kids were babies. Some days back then I was even posting twice a day! Good memories, lots of pictures and anecdotes about the kids and what we were up to. I need to start doing it again, and it's on my list of resolutions, I promise!

Anyway, I did accomplish a DIY project this week, and a few people on Facebook wanted to know how I made it, so I thought I would share the instructions on my blog. It was very easy to make, and has a big impact on the wall. I absolutely love how it turned out.

First, you will need to configure a crossword that will accommodate all of your family names. I decided to use our last name in the center as the starting point, more because I needed the L in Bailey than any other reason, lol. For some people, even using your last name might not be enough letters, so get creative! Add the word "FAMILY" in the middle and build from that. Or "HOME" or "LOVE" or anything you can think of that would add to the piece. There is no "wrong" way to make this project, it's completely personal. I couldn't figure out a way to get "CHUCK" to work, so I had to use "CHARLES" instead. I configured my crossword by cutting out paper squares and writing the letters in everyone's names on the tiles, and then working and re-working and re-working again my configuration until I was happy with the results. There are fancy online excel sheets you could use, but I kept it simple. Isn't that almost always the best way?

Once you've got your crossword figured out, count how many tiles you will need and head to the craft store. If you have any coupons, bust them out. You will need to buy:

MDF Coasters--I got mine at Pat Catans back in the unfinished wood section. They were $.89 for a pack of 6, but they only had 2 packs. So I had to buy 3 more sets of 4 coasters in a coaster holder, so it cost me a bit more than I would have hoped. Still, the coasters only totaled roughly $8 (for 24 coasters), not bad.

Black acrylic paint--the small bottles of paint in the craft paint section

Alphabet Stencils--I found the size I wanted in the scrapbooking section for $3

Stenciling paint brushes--I used a small, circular foam brush made specifically for stenciling, also found near the paints.

Double-stick tape for hanging

Back at home, carefully stencil each letter onto your coasters. I did end up messing up one of mine pretty badly, but the nice thing is that the coasters were the same finish on the flip side, so I just re-did it on the other side. Let your paint dry, set up your crossword configuration on a large table or even the floor, and then plan where you want to hang it! Mine is BIG--it takes up a good portion of our large hallway wall. I simply used a strip of double-stick tape on each coaster and pressed it good and hard onto the wall. They seem to be up there and not going anywhere any time soon!

There you have it. Very simple instructions for a personalized project with a lot of WOW. I hope you love how it turns out. I think this would also make a fantastic wedding gift for a new couple, and then you could give them extra blank coasters and the stencils for later down the road if they have children. Cute, right? And I promise to be a better blogger in 2012. Happy New year to everyone who is actually still reading this thing!

~ Barbara