Dear 16-year-old-me

There is a viral video going around right now called "Dear 16-year-old-me" as part of the campaign for skin cancer prevention and awareness. It's an intense and emotional video, and well worth watching, but it got me thinking. What if I could go back and give my 16-year-old self some advice? Would I do it? I've always maintained that if I ever had the chance to go back and change my mistakes, I wouldn't do it, because without my missteps and wrong turns and detours I wouldn't be where I am today. And today is good...great even. But I think I might have a few suggestions for my teenage self. And I thought I would share them here, because someday my 16-year-old daughter might need a little advice too:)

Dear 16-year-old-me,

* That boy who cheats on you and breaks your heart? It turns out that he really isn't worth it. Don't spend the next 5 years throwing yourself away trying to prove that you are special. It will not improve your self esteem.

* Drive more carefully. Much, much more carefully. Your wallet will thank you if you can avoid the accidents and speeding tickets!

* When someone introduces you to the "screwdriver," don't overdo it. If you do it will ruin orange juice for you forever, and that is a sad thing!

* Your little brother is not your responsibility, but he is your family. He needs you and he won't be able to admit it. Make more time for him, be his friend, reach out to him even if he insists he is ok. He isn't. And someday you will wish you had taken better care of him...

* Don't major in Advertising in college just because Journalism seems too intimidating. You are a writer, so follow your passion even if it means subjecting yourself to criticism and possible failure. You'll never know unless you try.

* Don't stop singing in college. Try out for a chorus or an acapella choir or something. You might not be the best alto in the world, but singing makes you happy--don't give it up because you are afraid.

* Don't spend so much time with your college boyfriend that you lose touch with your best girlfriend. It will be something that you will regret for the rest of your life, because you will learn the hard way that people like her are special and should be treasured, and you will always need a good girlfriend in your life.

* Holding grudges is a terrible character flaw. Learn early how to forgive and move on, it will save you a year of anger and hurt later in life...

* If, at some point, you find yourself with 100 cases of chocolate bars in your living room that are free samples for your job, do not spend night after night eating them. It is true what they say about chocolate: a moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips. Your body will thank you if you can resist them.

* Take really good care of yourself when you are pregnant. Do not ever start drinking sweet tea, it will add 20 extra pounds to your pregnancy weight gain.

* Floss your teeth. A lot. Just trust me on this one...


I have so many more things I could say to the 16-year-old-me...but then again, if I did, I might not have learned the lessons I know now. I could tell her to never open that credit card in college just to get that free leather binder, but then I wouldn't know how it feels to buy a bunch of things I can't afford and slowly take years to pay them off, lol. I could tell her to think long and hard about getting those 2 cats in college, because cats live a looong time...but those cats love me, and they need me, and I couldn't imagine them with any other owner. I could tell her so many things, but the truth is that I owe it to myself to own up to my own mistakes. They make me who I am today, they are a part of my history. I hope that when my children are teenagers, I have enough faith to let them make some of their own mistakes, but also to protect them from what I can. Luckily for me, that's a long time off!

P.S. Seriously, do take a moment to watch the video link I posted, and make sure to always wear sunscreen to protect your skin. I'll admit, the 16-year-old-me didn't wear a lot of sunscreen either. And it's definitely something I would go back to tell her to do!

Fortune 5-what?

Once, recently, after finding out that I was a Stay-at-home-mom, I had a stranger tell me, with a sympathetic pat on the arm, "Don't worry, sweetie. You aren't the only mom out there who never used her college degree." Because I'm trying to keep my hot-temper under wraps these days, I smiled and nodded and went on my way with my mean thoughts screaming loudly in my head. "NOT use my college degree!! How DARE SHE!!!"

I majored in Advertising in college. And I use it ALL THE TIME.

"Guess what kids? Tonight we're having Spinach Lasagna! Yum, it is sooo good! It tastes just like pepperoni pizza! How great is that? Oh...the green stuff? Don't worry, it's the BEST part! It tastes just like cheese!" Tell me that didn't practically win an Oscar, lol.

And guess who ate it tonight? Guess who proclaimed it "The Best Lasagna He's Ever Eaten!" (ok, so it's the only lasagna he's ever eaten...but really, who's counting?;-) Clearly, I am an Advertising Genius! (*Hint, it wasn't Chuck! It was AIDEN!!)

Seriously though, do I ever get tired of the "Oh, you stay at HOME all day? I could NEVER do that!" comments? You bet I do. And you know why? Because I never imagined myself here either.

Surprised? Me too. But growing up...I'll admit it, I never wanted children. I didn't fantasize about them, I didn't like babysitting them. During my brief, but albeit beloved, stint as a summer camp counselor, I repeatedly requested to be with the oldest children I could legally be with--I just couldn't imagine myself with young children. I sailed easily through college, landed myself a job that I thoroughly sucked at (I use that word lightly, lol), got myself another job that I didn't love but wasn't terrible at...and fell in love with one Mr. Charles Bailey II. Along came Aiden, the surprise of my life...and it's 100% true what they say, children change you. Those people that say, "Oh, I'll never let having a baby change me!" Well, they are wrong. It is impossible. Having a baby DOES change you, oh yes it does. Those people that say, "I'll never let my children become my whole life!" Well, they didn't have children, did they? Because, let me tell you, it happens.

I became a mother, and it became my whole life. They became my whole life. Being part of a non-broken family, a whole unit, for the first time in my life? It consumed me. In the best way possible.

People ask me all the time, "Do you think you'll ever go back to work?" "Don't you miss having your own money?" "Doesn't it feel strange not having anything for yourself?" And I have some answers. I'm not sure...yes...and sometimes. I would like to "go back" to work someday, if the time was right. But I loathe the insinuation that while I'm at home I'm not "working." Because I absolutely AM. I do everything in my physical power to get ALL of the chores that I can done during the week so that we can spend time together as a family when Chuck isn't working on the weekend. That means mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, bathrooms, vacuuming, mopping, weeding, sweeping, etc. I try my best to do literally everything inside of this house that I can think of so that Chuck won't have to do it on the weekend. But I also do a really great job of taking care of my kids. I teach them in so many ways, and take them so many places. They get to take lessons and go to museums and the zoo and parks and playdates. We learn a lot together and I take pride in teaching them in new and exciting ways. So it hurts me when people insinuate that this "job" is easy. Because it isn't. Some days it is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And yes I miss the adult interaction, and yes I miss having my own money, and yes I miss feeling important and appreciated.

But do you know what?

I'm a good mom. And it's my JOB. And I am tired of apologizing for it. I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom, and I am proud of it. I am proud of my husband for making it work for us. I am proud of myself for doing a good job. And I will not feel ashamed of "not using my college degree."

How's that for Advertising? :-)

I might not work for a Fortune 500 company, but I have the greatest fortune I could have ever imagined, and it's 2 sets of bright, shiny eyes waiting for me to show them the world, every single morning. No one brings me coffee, most of the time it gets spilled on me. And it's more than ok. It's Motherhood. And it just might be all the fortune I ever need....

The Summer of Warp Speed

Doesn't this always seem to be the case? When you want time to speed up because you are looking forward to a future event, time seems to practically stand still. But when you are finally, mercifully, ready to be IN the moment, to relax and enjoy the PRESENT, it goes by at warp speed? I am in awe of how quickly this summer is flying by. The days are passing in a blur and I find myself wishing I could be Zack Morris back on Saved By The Bell, when he could yell "time-out!" and time would freeze. I would totally time-out this summer, that's how much I am loving it:)

There are certain times in your life when you look around and think to yourself, "Somebody, quickly! Pinch me! I must be dreaming, because this can't be real!" I really, truly do feel that way right now. And I am trying so hard to squash my inner-realist who threatens to rear her ugly head and yell, "Just wait, your luck will run out soon!" We are so happy right now. My amazing husband got a PROMOTION last week--whoo hoo, SO proud of him! So if you live in Ohio and your insurance rates go up, you know who to partially blame, haha. The weather has been amazing. We have healthy children, a pool membership, a ton of wonderful parks and beaches and bike trails and fun things to do nearby. I've never liked the word "blessed" but I certainly have to agree with the definition: "good fortune" seems to sum it all up right now. We are lucky, plain and simple. And I am so grateful:)

Here are some recent pics. The kids showing off their new Indians hats and new pajamas. Enjoying Playground World and the pool. Our "new & improved" swingset--we upgraded the disc swing for a double glider that the kids love being able to do themselves.

Life is sweet. Even sweeter than the fresh peaches sitting on my kitchen counter:) I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!

Summer of Fun

My apologies for the long wait between posts. You see, we got new phones last month--my Mother's Day present and the coolest, best thing I've gotten in a long, long time. I love it, and the camera on my phone is actually better than my point-n-shoot, and has it's own awesome editing software right on the phone...so, yeah. I've been taking a lot of pictures, but not really putting them anywhere! I promise to be better about uploading them!

Things here in northeast Ohio are...wonderful. Really. Summer has finally arrived, with its fresh grass clippings and warmer temps and no school. The kids and I are having a blast, going to parks and the pool and the beach, riding bikes and eating popsicles and doing all of that fun summer stuff. I really want this summer to be about fun and sunshine, giving us lots of good, happy, warm memories to stuff away and pull out during the cold, long winter (which is, thankfully, far far away still). I joked the other day that I want my toughest decisions this summer to be: pool or beach?; beer or wine?; and peanut butter or ham 'n cheese sandwiches? We've literally eaten every single lunch this week outdoors, and it is heaven:) (My kitchen likes it too! lol)

So here is to a summer of fun and memories. A summer of laughter and smiles, popsicle tongues and dirty bare feet. A summer of splashing and swimming, swinging and sliding, and having the best time we can possibly have. Together:)

On a side note, at the pool the other day (LOVING our Y membership, the pool is very close and so much fun!) I was watching a mother with a 3 month old baby and a 2 year old son try to juggle it all. She was feeding the baby and trying to keep an eye on her toddler, coaxing him to come closer, be careful, stay within sight. The baby started fussing and she looked over at me and the kids who were eating sandwiches and carrot sticks and juice boxes in our deck chairs, and she said, "I am so envious of you right now, you have no idea." I laughed. Oh how I laughed, because I DO have an idea, because I used to be her and I remember those days and how I longed for the time when my kids would be old enough to sit in chairs and eat their lunch and then swim and splash nearby. IT. HAS. ARRIVED. And I am truly loving this stage of motherhood, no diapers, no babies, just me and my littles, who have really become my very best buddies.

It's going to be a fantastic summer:)