The Weight of Resolutions

On January 1st, 2010, I watched my husband drive away with all of his clothes and a few of his possessions to live in Ohio without us, until we could sell our house in GA. I was depressed, trying to keep a positive outlook, but knowing that it could take months, if not longer, to sell our house and be able to move to Ohio. I made a resolution that day, for the new year, to lose 30 lbs in 2010. I wanted to be healthier, more active, eat better, and most importantly feel better about myself.

I did not succeed.

As of this morning, I weigh TWO lbs less than I did a year ago. Over the course of the year I did lose 10-15 lbs a few times, and then slowly gained it back again. The typical yo-yo dieter--that's me. The only weight loss "program" I've ever had success on is low-carb, because of my insulin resistance and PCOS, counting calories has never worked for me. We joined the YMCA 2 months ago and I'm actually up 5 lbs from when we joined. Not so successful...though I think everyone has a hard time losing weight between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

My husband, ever one to look on the bright side of things (and for that, I truly love him, he buoys me when I feel like sinking, every time) pointed out that at least I didn't gain any weight this year...and he is right. It is a small victory, and one not to be overlooked in an otherwise very successful year. Because with the stresses of living alone with my kids for 3 months, selling a house, moving 900 miles, buying a house, moving in, and then getting settled and starting our lives over, I suppose I could have easily eaten my anxiety away. But I didn't. I could still get on the treadmill today and run 3 miles (though I didn't...I'll admit that I had leftover pie for breakfast, not my finest moment but no one else was going to jump on that bomb;)

This week is the last of 2010. Next year I will have a 3-yr-old and a soon-to-be-5-yr-old. I will turn 31 years old. My husband will turn 37 (yikes--when did we get so old?). I have new resolutions to make and to keep that will have nothing to do with a number on the scale and everything to do with liking myself a little bit more and hating what I see a little bit less. Because, really, what's in a number?

PS--Did you know that if you Google, "How much does..." the automatic search fill-in is, "How much does Snooki weigh?" That makes me sad:( Granted, the girl shouldn't go around telling everyone she weighs 90 lbs when she clearly doesn't, but she is 4'11" and having your weight so publicly scrutinized must be terrible. I wish society would stop putting so much weight (pun intended) on weight. I hate to think of my little girl growing up hating herself because of a number on the scale...