Take a Back Road

I was driving in the car with the kids today and I had one of those precious moments that I wish I could wrap in pretty paper and keep in my pocket...forever. Not the "big" moments, not like starting pre-school or Kindergarten or birthdays or Christmas morning, just a special moment that felt perfect, and I wanted to keep it. There we were, cruising down 20 with the windows all open and the breezy fall air flowing through the car. Our hair was blowing and my kids were singing all the words to Rodney Atkins "Take a Back Road," because they are forced to inherit my love of country music so they know all the words to all of the great new songs:) They were waving their hands in the air and had red apple cheeks and bright, shiny eyes and I felt it. I felt that tightness in my chest, like an iron vice gripping my heart and suddenly my eyes were threatening to spill over. Because it was perfect. Just a moment, just a silly little grain of sand in this giant hourglass of my life, and I wanted to reach out and drench it in bronze...freeze it forever, because it was happiness and sunshine and light and laughter and love. In just one single moment.

That's my favorite part about being a mom. Most days have bad parts, most days I kick myself for something that didn't go right. But there is almost always that one perfect moment where I can feel the love flowing between us, fluid like hot liquid lava, a thread that was never severed when they left my womb. I feel anchored and whole and like I'm the most important person in the whole wide world. Because of them.

I just had to write it down. I know I haven't blogged much lately...summer was busy and I got lazy. But I tend to forget that I started this blog for me, as a record of my time home with my babies, as a log for my journey into motherhood. I don't always need to be profound, or have something meaningful to say, I just need to write it down. Because those moments like the one today, they happen a lot, but then I forget them. And I don't want to forget. I love that I'm keeping this record, so that some day I can read it back to my babies, right from the very beginning, and they will know that even though sometimes I might not show it in the right ways, my love for them is powerful and my words are my proof.