Five years...

I told the cashier at Walmart this afternoon, "My little boy is turning 5 tomorrow." Aiden looked around and said, "Huh? What little boy? Mom, I'm a big boy turning 5 tomorrow!" Just like that, a sucker punch to the gut, right in the middle of Walmart.

Has it really been 5 years since he swam in the space under my heart? Since I felt his tiny body writhe and wriggle inside of my own skin? Five years ago today, right now, he was supposed to have already been born, but my little man was stubborn right from the start. He's always had his own agenda:-) He just got stuck like a stick in the Georgia clay, refused to move, and so finally at 2:24am on March 23rd, 2006, he was promptly retrieved from my stomach, came out screaming, and pretty much didn't stop for the first 6 months of his life.

Everyone says to cherish those first few months, that they go by too quickly, that you will forget them all too soon. I have a confession...I wanted them to go by quickly. I wanted to forget them, forget the endless screaming, forget being covered in spit-up and being so tired that I could barely remember my own name. I couldn't believe that this was what other mothers raved about, what other mothers wanted to hold onto and never let go. But, little by little, we got to know each other, him and I. I discovered my son and, in doing so, I discovered a new side of myself as well.

When a child is born, so is a mother. And now my little boy, my baby, is turning five. I realized this morning that I've been a mother longer than I've ever done anything else in my life. Longer than any other job I've ever had, longer than any school I ever attended, even technically longer than I've been a wife, I've been a mother. And it's all because of him.

Gone are the days of wishing that time would speed up. He has bloomed into the most perfect and amazing son that I ever could have hoped or wished for. He is kind and polite, smart and outgoing, willful and ambitious. He has his bad days, and I have mine too, and we weather them together, just like we've always done.

I'm so excited to celebrate his birthday with him tomorrow. :-) Lot's of pictures to come, I promise!

:-)

A very special little boy in my life is turning 5 this week, so although I have been a terrible blogger lately, I promise a new post this week with birthday pictures:-) I just haven't been myself these past few months, winter has really stolen my light and my desire to write anything at all. But don't worry, I can slowly but surely feel it seeping back in with every degree that the temperature rises, and I'm certain that the urge to pour out my words will be back very soon.

Chuck and I got a jumpstart on the spring yardwork today (I had really forgotten how much debris accumulates in a yard over the long winter!) and I'm looking forward to *hopefully* growing grass where the pear trees used to be and enjoying a nice, full yard this summer. We're currently trying to get the yard all puppy-proofed; Chewie is so small that he can escape under a few gaps in the neighbor's fence, so we're going to try to fill in the gaps with soil and then seed the areas. We also need to install lattice under the deck to keep Chewie from investigating under there. Chuck and I keep joking that Chewie is the nosiest little puppy we've ever seen--they say curiosity killed the cat, but I'm not so sure it won't kill Yorkie-poos too!

More to come later this week, you can hold me to it!

Let Me Count the Ways

It's no secret that I am not a "baby person." I'm so happy to be done with the gurgling, teething, screeching, crawling stage that it isn't even funny. And not-quite-five short but somehow also long years later, I am finally really in love with being a mother. It's funny how it happens like that sometimes, it crept up on me, this enjoyment of my children. I've always loved them, truly and deeply in a way that only a mother can when her heart is suddenly walking around outside of her body, but now I am really enjoying them, the funny things they say and do, the way they show their love for me. And I try to tell them, I really do, but I know that I complain a lot here, so I wanted to write a little love letter to my children, for me to remember all of the silly little reasons why I love them.

Dear Aiden,
* I love how every night when I tuck you into bed I tell you, "Good night, sleep tight sweet boy, don't let the bedbugs bite, I'll see you in the morning!" and you always, without fail, tell me, "Mom! Don't let the bedbugs bite you either! Love you!"
* I love that you have become so affectionate and sweet, always giving me kisses and hugs and you told me yesterday at the Y, "Mommy, you are the best mommy in the whole world and I feel so lucky that I am your son!" My eyes swam with tears because not so long ago I worried that maybe you would never be that way with me, and you have surprised me and shown me what a truly special heart you have.
* I love how much you love coloring, and how every time you color a picture you tell me that you think it's better than a real live photograph:)
* I love that you love your new puppy and want to play with him and protect him.
* I love that you love to do puzzles, just like your Daddy, and you don't mind that it takes me a while to figure them out!
* I love that you are really trying to be better about eating new foods and trying fruits and vegetables.
* I love the way you still try to fit into my lap, even though it's nearly impossible.
* I love how great of a big brother you are *most of the time;-)* and you help your sister when she needs it.
* I love how polite you are, you almost always say "please" and "thank you" and "may I?" instead of "can I?" without me ever asking you.
* Most of all I love you for always being yourself and saying how you feel. You are very outgoing and love to make new friends and I hope that never changes!

Dear Ava,
* I love how you pucker your lips up for a big smoochy kiss:)
* I love the way you dance with your eyes closed (even though this will likely someday lead to an accident, lol)
* I love the way you call your bottom a "tiny heiny."
* I love your super squeaky high voice that you use when you are playing pretend.
* I love the way you sing the ABC song and say "elmo elmo p" instead of "lmnop."
* I love that you always remember to give me a hug and a kiss goodbye if I am leaving, and you always tell me that you will miss me.
* I love how you use at least a page of stickers a day, just because they are your favorite thing.
* I love how much you love your brother, and how you ask me at least 10 times every school morning if it is time to pick him up yet (even though as soon as we do, you two start fighting, lol).
* I love how much you love to swing, because it reminds me of myself as a kid.
* I love how when I get frustrated about something, you are always there to encourage me and tell me, "You can do it, Mom! Don't give up!"
* I love how much you love to Swiffer, because it helps make the floors extra clean:)
* I love when you help me cook, because you always get really into it, and it makes me feel happy:)
* I love that you ask to ride bikes in the driveway every single day, despite the fact that it's been freezing and snowy for the past 3 months. Soon, baby girl! Soon!
* Most of all I love you because you wear your heart on your sleeve and I never have to guess how you feel. You love big and hurt deeply and are very passionate and I hope that never changes.

My sweet, beautiful, amazing children...you've changed me so. I really don't remember the person I used to be before I was your mother, and I am better for it. Thank you for letting me love you, teach you, guide you, hold you, and for loving me back even when I've done you wrong or had a weak moment. I'm lucky...

30 Things...

Most of the time, this blog is about my wonderful children and what we are up to. But today I thought I would do something a bit more personal. A friend of mine did this a while back on her blog, and I loved getting little tidbits of knowledge about her that would never really come up in everyday conversation. Sometimes I feel like knowing those tiny idiosyncrasies about someone is what makes you really, truly call them a friend.

So, without further delay, here are 30 really random truths about me:)

1. I love hummingbirds, I'm practically obsessed with them. Chuck bought me a hummingbird feeder last summer and I could sit and watch them for hours. I can't wait for them to come back!
2. My favorite color is purple. I have a purple vacuum, my Kindle cover is purple, my wallet it purple, my favorite shirt is purple. You get the idea.
3. I love to read. If I'm not reading something, a book or a short story or just something, I feel like something in my life is missing.
4. My favorite candy...it's a tie between gummy worms and Good 'N Plenty, which I know lots of people hate but I absolutely love.
5. This is the first time in my life that I've had long hair, and every once in a while I see my reflection in a mirror and don't recognize myself!
6. I have two half-sisters (daughters of my father) somewhere in the world, but I've never met them and I don't know their last names.
7. I can't stand to not wear socks inside--I wear them almost constantly, even in the summer.
8. I really don't like to watch a movie or tv show more than once. Occasionally I'll love a movie so much that I will watch it a second or even third time, but very rarely. I'd rather spend my time watching something new!
9. My dream job would be proofreading/editing novels. I love grammar (even though mine isn't always perfect).
10. I am terrible at buying gifts. I agonize about what to buy and then when I finally do make a decision I second guess myself for days and usually end up hating what I bought, lol.
11. I love constellations and one of the neatest presents I've ever received was my own star that came with my engagement ring from Chuck. It's called Barbara Bailey and it's part of the constellation Cassiopeia.
12. When it comes to anything technology-related, I am clueless. I don't even know how to hook up a DVD player to a tv. My sister had to load my Ipod with songs for me, I had no idea what to do!
13. I am a huge baby at the dentist office! I've had to get 13 fillings in the past 2 years and have asked for nitrous every time.
14. I haven't worn earrings on a daily basis since I lost one of my diamond earrings 3 years ago. My ears seem to reject earrings, I have lost an earring from almost every pair I own so I just stopped wearing them.
15. I bite my nails, it's a terrible habit. I want to admonish my children for biting their nails, but I know that makes me a huge hypocrite!
16. Even thought I bite my fingernails and never paint them, I always keep my toes painted, even in the middle of winter. I have no idea why!
17. My favorite candle scent is Yankee Candle Harvest, it smells like cinnamon and spice and everything wonderful about fall.
18. I didn't start learning to cook until Aiden was around one and I got tired of making Hamburger Helper every night. It turns out that I love cooking and could spend all day in the kitchen if time let me!
19. My favorite season is fall. I love the changing leaves and the cool crispness in the air.
20. Some people are pool people and some people are beach people. I love both, but I am really a beach person. I love feeling the sand between my toes and listening to the waves and seeing all the boats. Nothing makes me happier than a good day at the lake!
21. I've always wanted to get a tattoo, but I am too chicken! I have no pain tolerance and I can't seem to muster up the courage!
22. I bought a real 4-leaf clover keychain on our honeymoon in Vegas, and it hangs from my rearview mirror in my car. I know it's hokey, but I really believe it's brought me good luck the past 5.5 years and if anything ever happens to it I know I will be crushed!
23. I love taking pictures and someday my dream present would be a great camera and to take a photography class.
24. I sang in my high school show choir and it was one of the best experiences of my life. Being part of a team and winning competitions based on talent was so rewarding. I love to sing and I probably drive my husband and kids crazy because I sing ALL the time!
25. I love being a stay-at-home mom but sometimes I really miss the social aspect of an office. I didn't always love my job before, but it was nice to know when I was doing a good job.
26. I am probably the least picky eater ever. I love almost all types of cuisine and have very few foods that I don't like, but...
27. I can't stand cilantro, it just doesn't taste good to me!
28. I never learned the proper way to type on the computer, so I type using a modified hunt-and-peck method, but even Chuck swears he thinks I am the fastest hunt-and-pack typer he's ever seen! I type pretty fast even though I only use 5 fingers, lol.
29. I have a slight astigmatism in my eyes, which means that my corneas are shaped like footballs instead of like spheres. Secretly I have always wondered if part of my self-confidence issues are a result of seeing myself shorter and fatter than I really am, lol.
30. I have always hated my name because it is so old-fashioned and I purposefully named my children very popular names so that they would never feel self conscious about their names. That's probably very vain on my part;)

So there you have it, 30 things you may or may not have known about me! Happy Monday tomorrow, I love the start of a new week, it always feels so full of promise, a brand new week to try and try again. :)

Meet Chewie!

We got a puppy! Meet Chewbacca "Chewie" Bailey, our 10-week old yorkie poo. He was a somewhat spur-of-the-moment buy, as we had only barely discussed Chuck entertaining the idea of a small dog, but then Chuck called on some yorkie poos for sale and Wednesday night the breeder brought over the sweetest little puppy you've ever seen:) We all fell in love and couldn't not keep him. He does bear somewhat of a resemblance to a certain furry creature from Star Wars, so we named him Chewbacca and call him Chewie for short. He is about 4 lbs right now and should be about 8 lbs when fully grown. He is so soft and sweet and most importantly I've not had any allergy problems at all, which is wonderful for me! I told Chuck that I think this is the first time in my life that I've been able to pet and hold a dog without sneezing and itching.

Chewie is a really sweet puppy who loves to cuddle and be held. He seems to be very smart for a little guy, and has gotten potty training almost right away (just a few accidents after the first day). He is especially playful (like all puppies are) and loves his rope bone and his little toy monkey. The only issue we're having at all is that he doesn't like his crate at night, but since he's not 100% potty trained yet we can't really have him sleeping in our bed. I hope he gets better about the crate, but I know it will take time. Our cats, Zoe and Bailey, have not yet once come downstairs to brave the "ferocious creature" and we ended up just moving their food upstairs since I didn't want Zoe to starve (it wouldn't hurt Bailey to lose 1 or 10 pounds, lol). I hope they adjust eventually, they are both getting older (Bailey is 7 and Zoe is 9) so I know they don't appreciate a new face in the house (especially such a cute one who is getting so much love and attention!) I can't wait for spring and summer so we can play with Chewie outside and take him with us to the park.

The kids love him and are very sweet and affectionate. We're trying to teach them to be loving without OVERloving him, lol, he is a small guy after all!